Zed Cutsinger - Torture Rack Sketch Comedy

1. How did Torture Rack begin and what are its current plans?
Three years ago I met Max and Mookie at Crewtonz in Bushwick during a Mental show. They didn't know me, but I conversed with them regardless. Mid-through conversation Mookie asked me, "Why did you move to New York?" I told him, "To pursue sketch comedy," a lie, in hopes to pique their interest and land a spot in their sketch group at the time: Short Box. I was never cast nor involved in Short Box, but a year or so later, two years or so ago from today, Mookie and Max approached me about acting in their feature film, Ro Sham Beau. That lead to making a sketch group, so naturally the three of us rocked the microphone. And the camera. And the script. Lots of things got rocked in the formation of Torture Rack. Since then we've shot some lolarious videos, written, wrote, and wroten some more. Max left at a certain point so now it's Mookie Thompson and Zed Cutsinger on the comedic prowl. Current plans...to produce more shorts, but most importantly, to complete a Spank (a demo show) to perform at UCB Theatre in Manhattan. We got a cool overlying concept to tie everything together so it's not just a black out sketch show. I've been sworn not to reveal the thematic shoelaces or Mookie will lick my eyeball. Joe Spellman is going to direct this lulzy behemoth. You mighta seen him in this diddy: http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/play/2448 . Besides that, Mr. Thompson and myself are working on a sitcom that you're going to love, dubbed as Brooklyn Zoo.

2. Name a comedian you believe to be overrated and why.
Kate Winslet. A comedian's goal is to provoke laughter. Winslet has been nominated for six Academy Awards, won one, and has never made me laugh. That is an immediate failure. So there, proof of a high rating, and proof her lack of goods. With a prolific career, early movies such as Heavenly Creatures released in 1994, to her latest critically acclaimed role in Revolutionary Road, can we get some proof of her comedic title? Name one joke that Jeanne Calment has ever told. Can't think of any? She lived to be 122, the record for the oldest person alive. And yet, nobody can think of any jokes she's made. That's because a prolific life isn't proof of comedy. With all the underground comedians in the world, why so much limelight put onto Winslet? It sickens me, really.

3. With the dramatic changes New York City has gone through since the heyday of NYHC in the early to mid 80s (drastically lower crime, extensive gentrification,etc.) do you think its possible for NYC to ever regain a strong and cohesive hardcore scene? Has the city simply outgrown it?
I'm a transplant and my heart is still in the Bay Area when it comes to punk/hardcore. While I have liked some local bands (i.e. Deathcycle, Nomos, Disnihil) I don't feel the visceral connection to the scene that I did back in California. As a result, I don't care enough about the local scene to try to be productive and helpful in any way. I don't know how it used to be, but the shows I now go to aren't nearly as friendly and fun-fulfilling as they were back home. Shoutout to the Brown Eye Barn. Also, I know this is sacrilegious, but I don't like "NYHC". The punk/hardcore bands I like from New York are pretty atypical for the regional sound: Born Against, Cardiac Arrest, Antidote, etc. As a result of all of this, I'm completely apathetic to punk/hardcore in the city I live in. It might just be because of the hardcore I'm into, but I haven't gone to a local only show and seen the populace of NYC going off. Back in the Bay, you'd go to a stacked local show at 924 Gilman and it'd be packed and everybody would be moshing, singing along, and all that hardcore jargon good times. But it's not the same here. Something's missing and until that something is filled in, it's going to continue to be lackluster and not as good as "it used to be".

4. What are your thoughts on the Same-Sex Marriage situation in California?
In terms of the proposition that was passed that prohibits the marriage between two people of the same gender? Horrible. The fact that people get less rights because what their dick or pussy gravitates towards is beyond my comprehension. Well, I do understand how people hate others for the color of their skin, ethnicity, etc., and sexual preference isn't something that evades this ignorant hate. And it's not about a title, if anybody thinks that, you're mistaken. When two people are married, they get certain rights/abilities, such as seeing a spouse in a hospital. A man and a woman are married and the woman is dying in a hospital? The man can be allowed. In the same circumstances two men are legally bound to different rooms because of their lack of marriage license. This situation is one among many, many. If this doesn't infuriate you, you need to punch yourself in the dick or pussy until it's bleeding and that bleeding abrasion gets infected with something terminal and you die a painful death. Opinions are opinions but the majority of opinionated voters in California have enough power to disable others' innate human rights. Tyranny of the mentally challenged majority. I saw Milk in the movie theatre and by the end my eyes were drooling tears. Not only because of the travesty of the murder of Harvey Milk but because of the parallels to what was happening back then to what is currently happening. Have we not grown? I guess not. And that pains me. And what pains me even deeper into the marrow is the religious backing of this mentally challenged ignorance. Christianity, Judaism, Islam...I'll stop now before your blog becomes a novel of my typed hatred.

5. Do you prefer live comedy performances or filmed and edited sketches?
From sitting in the audience or standing on stage: live, live, live. It's just like porn: who wants to watch people have sex on a television screen when they can watch two people engage in anal intercourse from the confines of a closet? Being there, you're a part of it. For more analogies, continue: when you go to a punk/hardcore show you're moshing and jumping off of speakers and become a part of the show. For comedy, especially long form improv, laughing is the equivalent to stage diving. But more extreme in the sense that if something happens in a scene and gets a big enough laugh, the players on stage know that it was funny and will play with the idea more. As an audience member, in a sense, you have direct control over what will happen on stage. No matter how red in the face you get, no matter how many minutes you chortle laughter, no matter how times you scream at your speaker, "OHHH!" when shit gets wild crazy mad sick wild, the comedian on the other end of the microphone, who recorded the CD can not respond to your engaged listening activities. With everything, live is better. And if you disagree you don't know how to have fun and should buy Andrew WK's "I Get Wet" immediately. From a performance perspective...the waves of laughter over something improvised or rehearsed are better than avocado. If you know how much I cherish this green fruit, you know what what I'm talking about. But, there are some ideas that can't be conquered on the stage, so filmed is just as awesome a medium for the comedy.


6. What are some of your favorite up-and-coming improv groups or solo comedians from the New York area?
Favorite improv group to watch at the moment is Death By Roo Roo. Their gimmick is that they do mono-scenes, which is a continuous no edit scene, one setting for the entire show. They won something like seventeen cage match shows in a row in 2008. Their dark and fucked up tendencies are always hysterical. They perform regularly at UCBTheatre on Saturday nights. The improv group C, C + C Improv Factory also do the mono-scene. Neither are "up-and-coming" in the sense that they're both established at the theatre, but in a sense all improv groups are "up-and-coming" because they don't tour and I'm sure people outside of the improv community couldn't name one improv group. Three of my favorite individual comedians are Chris Gethard (Stepfathers, Magic Box Of Stories), Curtis Gwinn (Death By Roo Roo, Fat Guy Stuck In The Internet) and Charlie Todd (Reuben Williams, Improv Everywhere). The first two are incredible story tellers and the third's Improv Everywhere is one of the most creative forms of comedy I've ever heard of. All three are improv professionals as well. And be sure to keep an eye out for Derrick who's first movie, Mystery Team, is hilarious.

7. What were your top 3 albums of 2008 and what is your most anticipated album of 2009?
My top three records of 2008 in order were Ceremony's Still Nothing Moves You, Portishead's Third and Moscow Olympics' Cut The World. A lot of my anticipated albums of 2009 I've already heard (Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, Purple Mercy) but I'm still looking forward to hearing that new Trash Talk 7" single, and anything else they'd be releasing, anything Ceremony, anything Extortion, and hopefully anything Men's Interest. They should be releasing an EP in 2009? And let's not forget Skin Like Iron, Good Girls and Nomos. I already have a top twenty of 2009...lots of good releases so far...and it's not even April!

7.5 What smell.....?
What smell is the worst, you ask? Well, it's your finger after it has plunged into the belly button. I don't know what lingers in that shallow hole, but fuck does it stink.

Tom Williams - Stray From the Path

Tom plays guitar in Stray From the Path

1. What are your thoughts on the Rangers season so far? Who has been the biggest surprise on the team this year, for good or bad?
Eh, kind of disappointing. im glad they finally canned Renny, that dude was so soft. Tortorella is hard as hell. The biggest surprise is wade redden. He was awesome first two games, then decided to take out his dick and put it all over the ice, so the ice smelled like Redden dick. But I am going to give him a fresh start, see if Tortorella will be a real man and tell him to man up.

2. Stray from the Path has begun recording an album, how has it gone so far?

Sick, the cd is awesome. Its really going to be fucking awesome.

3. Are you planning on trying to gain any sponsors for Stray?

Yeah man, were going to try to get sponsored by Wendys or Dennys haha, not joking, and that's not just for me because I look like a fat lesbian, but food is cool.

4. What are Stray's plans for the next few months?

We're touring with Stick To Your Guns and Shai Hulud in march, then touring with earth crisis, Walls of Jericho and Reign Supreme in may which is funny and awesome. Then releasing the record.

5. Please list your top three most hated actors or actresses.

1. Ben stiller
2. Nicholas Cage
3. Kathy Griffin

I would kill all of those assholes, learn the rules.


6. If you had to create an all-hardcore hockey team, who would you chose?
Of course me in net, because my glove is RETARDED. Then I would follow it up with the sickest line ever. In center, I would have stray from the path bass player Ryan Thompson, we played ice hockey the other day, and he played in jeans and a hoodie with no pads on, while the team and team we were playing was fully dressed in pads, THAT is hard. Then I would have Vigil from The Ghost Inside on the right wing, and Elliot from Beneath the Massacre on left wing, because he is french Canadian and hard. On defense I would have Brendan of Incendiary, so I can have someone to clear the crease like JEFF BEAUKEBOOM, and Then I would have The captain on my other defense. When I say captain, most people think about Mark Messier, but no, I will have the real captain, Dan Lomeli of Incendiary.


7. Who do you believe to be the worst band in Long Island history?

Darkhold.


7.5 I think it's really sweet....
I think that it is really sweet to think that some people are DEFINITELY going to die in my lifetime. Like Ben stiller, Nicholas Cage, Vince Vaughn, Kathy Griffin, Lenny Kravitz, and Esteban the guitar asshole. Its going to be sick, but sucks that like Mike Richter and Tom Morello will be dead, that sucks.

Adam22 - WorldMovesFast.com/ TheComeUpBMX.net

Adam22 is co-founder of WorldMovesFast.com & is the owner of The Come Up

1. How did World Moves Fast come to be and how do you think you'll be able to seperate yourself from all the other sites out there?
I have been wanting to take the formula from The Come Up ( which has worked out really well for me and become super popular ) and use it for a site about another interest of mine for a while now. Hardcore was an obvious choice but the actual logistics of starting it and promoting it were kind of intimidating so I shelved it til I had the idea to work on it with Kris Mission... KM is obviously a legend and has a lifetime of connections and knowledge about the core that I don't have. I like the site already but there are so many cool things we are going to do with it in time.


2. You recently went on a trip to Mexico and will be returning there shortly. Any LOL moments from the first trip and what will you be doing on the second trip?
Yeah I went to Mexico a few weeks ago for Red Bull Elevation, which is basically just a dirt jumping contest, but it's a lot cooler than most dirt contests because the jumps are downhill, big and more interesting than most contests. It was a great experience, I pretty much got drunk and danced with hot chicks for 5 days straight, and whenever I wasn't doing that I was sitting in a big tent area watching crazy bike tricks.
Now I'm back again doing stuff for Sunday Bikes. They flew some of their team out here to film for their new video, and I'm putting together an article about it for a magazine, plus coordinating web videos that Chad Shack and I are putting together about the trip. It's been fun so far, way less partying but I've been having a lot of fun regardless. Shouts to my Mexican girlfriend Gaby, one love.

3. Please list some of your favorite 1-syllable words.
Shit... well when I'm in Manhattan it's all about that juice, milk, sauce... maybe even that beef ( "MY BEEF, NIGGA, MY BEEF" ). When I'm in Woodside I mostly stay with cup and fife... much more whiteboy-esque, since the hood doesn't really know much about beer pong or playing the fife. Shout out to endfact, technically it has two syllables but it gets the job done and can be enjoyed by blacks, whites and Puerto Rican day laborers like Muffinman.


4. Where would you like both The Come Up and World Moves Fast to be in one year?
Well, The Come Up is already number one, my stats are crazy right now and they are about to get a lot crazier soon. My board is growing at an insane rate and let's face it, nobody else out there can blog half as good as I do about this shit. BMX is in my soul, these big corporate sites are just trying to do what I do, but the kids aren't dumb, you can't fool them. "I fathered so many sons, I'm handing out cigars..."
As for WMF, it's a new site but the numbers are already impressive. Once we start banging out interviews with the biggest bands in hardcore, they will get even crazier. We've got a messageboard in the works, we're going to add some new bloggers so there are dozens of new posts every day... The list is endless. I've got ambition oozing out of me man, I lay awake in bed every night thinking about the shit I'm going to do. Kris Mission is with me... with me and him together, it's just inevitable that the site will be the biggest thing in hardcore soon.

5. You have been known to live the "CATLIFE", please provide an argument as to why cats are better than dogs.
I don't know man I can't even really defend cats, they are definitely more cute than dogs, plus they are more clean and easier to take care of, but cats are jerks too and pretty annoying. You can't really train them, can't bring them on a walk. If you're unlucky you might even end up with an asshole cat like Tony which is tough. Tony

I've never had a dog so I can't really have an official opinion on this matter, they both definitely have their merits.



6. Do you find any similarities in the hardcore and bmx scenes?
Lots of dumb ass kids use both to gain a sense of belonging, which on it's own is cool, but it manifests itself in the form of a lot of faggotry. The internet magnifies said lameness by 10. I'm too old and happy to care too much about that though... On the bright side, there's a lot of great people involved in both, I must admit that although I love hardcore, it's just music, to me BMX is pretty much my whole life. If I had to pick one it'd be an easy choice. I just like riding my bike around.

7. Do you have any lifting goals you'd like to achieve and do you feel harder now that you are lifting in Queens and not Hipsterville?
No real lifting goals, getting a little stronger would be cool but it's mostly for the look and because it feels good. My only real goal is just to work out more consistently and to drop some more weight, I want to weigh 210 and I've been hovering around 225 for a while now. As far as how my location has changed things, in Bushwick I was working out at a place called Richie's Gym. I probably saw 3 other white people working out there in my entire year going there, it was 80 percent Hispanic with a few random blacks thrown in to make myself and the Mexicans feel bad about our bad genetics. Definitely didn't see any hipsters there. Now that I'm working out in Woodside I think I might see better results just because I have you to work out with, and because the gym has air conditioning and all the Hispanics are replaced with Asians, who I clearly pwn genetically. The intense beer-drinking regiment you have me on will probably negate any effect that those things have though.
7.5 Name three things that....?
Name three things that only you will know of/laugh at: Hair, Son Of Hair, and our upcoming rape campaign.

Editors note: check out - www.worldmovesfast.com
www.thecomeupbmx.net

Gary Cioni - Crime In Stereo

Gary plays guitar for Crime In Stereo

1. You recently got back from Australia. How did that tour go? Name one thing that you found weird or interesting about Australia.
The tour in Australia was amazing, I would have to say it is the most amazing thing that I have experienced yet from being in a band. One thing that i found to be interesting in Australia was how far apart all the cities are, you literally cannot drive from show to show there because everything is so far apart. you need to fly to each city.

2. If you were not slaying the road, what profession do you think you'd like to try?

Hmm, I think I would try opening up an eating establishment of some sorts.

3. What's next for Crime In Stereo?

We will be heading to Europe in a few weeks for a tour with our good friends in Comeback Kid. After that we will be doing a short headliner in the states before we meet up with New Found Glory, A Day To Remember, and Four Year Strong for a month.

4. Name three people, places, or things that you hate.

Any pet Bryan Barash has ever owned, New Jersey, and people with blowouts

5. Name three things that always get you psyched, no matter what.

Anything with bbq sauce, Maggie Cioni, and B. Garrone

6. Why are you so good at golf, and are you confident you are the best golfer in hardcore?

I am good at golf because I did not have much else to do with my time between the ages of 14-17, and I would say I am fairly confident I could take on anyone in the hardcore scene with relatively little effort.

7. How do you see the incredibly high (and rising) gas prices affecting touring and hardcore?

I think that current gas prices are going to prevent a lot of smaller bands from being able to get out on the road for long tours because its simply too expensive. if your only making 100 dollars a night and its costing you more than double that to get from show to show, touring is not really a practical option anymore.

7.5 How do you feel about global warming? (Editors note: Gary decided to ask himself this question)
Global warming is probably one of the major problems we’ll face in our lifetimes, and it will continue to be a huge issue for hundreds of years to come. Among the predicted consequences are mass extinctions, disruption of food chains, slow but continual rise in sea levels, to the point that some communities (some islands, for example, and also some major cities in the longer term), will be completely underwater in the foreseeable future.

Brian Audley - Soldiers

Brian Audley plays guitar in Soldiers and Incendiary

1. You guys recently finished your first full U.S. tour. Any particularly memorable moments?
- starting the tour with strep throat (miserable, but memorable)
- that girl from Paramore coming to the Nashville show, mo$hing to
soldiers and leaving (fact)
- vinne paul's strip club in Dallas
- hearing an 18 pack referred to as a "teener" in southern California
(still trying to get that to catch on at home)
- running into our best friends in comeback kid at a gas station in California
- my first time in Vegas, casino hopping and scoring free beers with
Roy and Bourke
- playing a white fender stratocaster in Aurora, IL.

2. Rank these movie sequel's in your favorite order - Home Alone 2: Lost in
New York, Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls, Waynes World 2, Back to the
Future 2.

1) Wayne's World 2

2) Back to the Future 2

3) Ace Ventura 2 : When Nature Calls
4) Home Alone 2 : Lost in New York

3. What do you think of the current state of long island hardcore?
Long Island hardcore is seriously great right now. A lot of new bands

just started popping up, and more of them are heavy which is the sound
I'm into. LI's "sound" is generally thought to be on the melodic side
of hardcore, so i get psyched when more heavy and aggressive bands
start coming out of here. Our biggest problem on the island is a
severe lack of all ages venues. The only available options are either
a) too expensive 2) bars that only do 18+ shows and d) not big enough
to accommodate bigger shows . Hopefully with all these new bands eager
to play, they'll try to look into some new venues. Also, we have bands
like This is Hell, Crime in Stereo, and Stray from the Path hitting
the road hard and doing big things on the national and international
level.

4. Name one trend in hardcore you'd like to see die immediately.
-Whacky, goofball bands

-bands who aren't angry
-kids 5 years younger than me wearing shirts that are 10 years older than me

5. You have a reputation for being a pretty good beer pong player. Some
attribute it to your "bog" wingspan. Do you feel your height is an asset to
the sport and what is your favorite beer to play with?
My height may give me a better perception of the top of the cups but thats about it. As far as wingspan, that wouldn't help unless i was cheating. My wrist doesn't cross the table even if it means i have to take a few steps back. Beer of choice to play with is anything weak and watery since i am going to be on the table for a while and drinking a lot of it (especially if my partner is a short, angry rugby player from smithtown). Coors light, Bud light, Miller light and shit like that i guess.

6. In your opinion, what was the worst storyline created in recent memory in the WWE?
Worst WWE story line in recent memory is Mr. Kennedy not being the world heavyweight champion.

7. Who is your favorite band whom you have never seen live?
Hardcore: Strife or Integrity, both these bands seem to be doing shows sporadically so maybe i'll be able to cross them off the list someday

Non-Hardcore : Nirvana or Alice in Chains.

7.5 What is the best.....?

Wrong, dick head...trick question Lemmy IS god

www.myspace.com/soldiersny

Travis Reilly - This is Hell

Travis is the vocalist for This is Hell

1. What is your favorite Falling Behind song?

Haha, I can barely remember the song titles and no one except maybe a few long island kids are going to even know who Falling Behind is. I guess I will go with "One Down"

2. How was the European tour?

The European tour was pretty awesome, we played some really sweet shows, got to hang out with some old friends (parkway drive, dead swans) and make some new friends (sick of it all, bury your dead). I'd say the two highlights were Groezrock fest in Belgium and our London headline show.

3. What is the current state of Support Shirts and what are your future plans?

We are slowly starting to make some moves, trying to get into some shops & boutiques all over the place. Trying to find some bands to take them out on tour, maybe warped or something. Working on a new line that should be out in late summer or so, keep an eye on it. www.supportshirts.net

4. Whats next for This Is Hell?

This weekend we got the H20 cd release shows with our homeys Crime In Stereo. June 13th we start a 10 day run with Blacklisted that is mostly Canadian dates. After that we literally have nothing going on. I think the summer is going to be pretty mellow, I think Soldiers is going to do some touring.

5. If you could not listen to either Leeway or CroMags again for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

You sand bagging son of a bitch, this is a tough question and my answer might surprise you but I think I'd rather be able to rock Leeway for the rest of my days.

6. Best place you have eaten at on tour?

Fuck man that's another hard one, I will just rattle off a few. Satsuma in London, Wagamamas in London, Almost any fish and chips shop in England. Hugo's in Prescott, The Triple Rock in Minneapolis, Sneaky Dee's in Toronto, Street Noodles in Montreal, some burrito place in phoenix I can't remember the name, I ate 4 breakfast burritos in a 24 hour span.

7. If you could recruit an entire HC basketball team, which 4 players other than yourself would you choose?
I'll start with Eli from Killing The Dream, played against him once and homeboy can ball... Next would be Garret from Trash Talk, haven't played with him but Eli speaks highly of his game and I respect Eli, now my next two picks are going to be just based on physical build and height because I've never seen either of them play. Bedard from Bane, he's a lanky motherfucker and can probably pull down those rebounds, Rashod from Trash Talk, he's a big dude and could probably bang under the boards. Straight up, put me and Eli on a team with any three other dudes and we will smoke any five core kids.... please believe that.

7.5. What would you like to do...?

That's a pretty broad question (editors note: no shit), I guess I'd like to continue doing what I've been doing for the last few years. Playing music full time, running Support Shirts with my girlfriend, Touring all over the world visiting tons of new places for free. My life is pretty sweet at the moment. I also would like to see the following bands in 2008 or even 2009 will do. Seaweed, Leeway, Killing Time, Polar Bear Club, Ringworm, Atmosphere.

www.thisishell.org
www.supportshirts.net

Welcome

to the 7.5 Questions blog. I decided that I really like reading interviews so why not start a blog about it. I also like to kill time at work. This will not be anything other than interviews which are 7.5 questions in length, period. No, "So today Johnny was mean to me......" type posts of any kind. The half question is entirely open to the interviewee. I'll be mostly talking to some dudes in bands that I am a fan of/am friends with. I'm sure I'll expand out of the music world soon enough, though. Stay tuned for the first batch.....